49 Hilarious ‘Dad Joke’ Memes for Married Couples

Author image for Kim Cohen
Kim Cohen
Feb 21, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Calling all married couples with a fine-tuned taste and a much needed want for some 'dad joke' style laughter - this one is for you. Yes, we know they're the jokes we all love to hate but get ready to giggle and groan, and maybe even roll your eyes at 49 of the funniest 'Dad Joke' memes we could find.

From jokes about arguing, cooking, general married life, being married with kids and everything in between - there's a dad joke for literally every normal daily situation here.

So, take some time out and prepare to laugh your way through this bunch of jokes that we promise you'll really love (and hate us for it) After all, who said marriage couldn't be both funny and fun, and who said you didn't need to see these and then take some away to use on your significant other when the time is right? Enjoy! 

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  • 01
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes When my wife and I argue, I always get the last word. They're usually, "I'm sorry. You're right." ...
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  • 02
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Today, my wife apologised to me for the first time ever... She said, she's sorry she ever married me.
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  • 03
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My partner always makes such a mess when cooking her breakfast, but I'm terrified of asking her to clean up. I've been walking on eggshells all da
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  • 04
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes ... My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3-meter-wide frame for our wedding photo. Well I think she should look at the bigger picture.
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  • 05
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife is a body builder. She's pregnant. ...
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  • 06
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I hate it when my wife keeps telling me that "I don't get it." I mean, what does it even mean?
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  • 07
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife bet me $1000 I couldn't turn spaghetti into a car. You should have see her face when I drove pasta.
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  • 08
    Dad Jokes ✔ @Dadsaysjokes If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him... Is he still wrong?
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  • 09
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife told me: holiday. is better on I wasn't expecting that on the postcard she sent from Greece.
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  • 10
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I just saw my wife trip over and drop a basket of clothes she just ironed. I watched it all unfold.
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  • 11
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife texted me, "Your great", and I replied, "No, you're great". She's been really happy and smiling at me all weekend. I just corrected her grammar. Don't need to be so excited.
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  • 12
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife text messaged me with one word: "Earth." It meant the world to me.
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  • 13
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife said, "Why don't you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?" I said, "That's...a novel idea."
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  • 14
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns. Well, toucan play at that game. ...
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  • 15
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife yelled from the bedroom asking, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" I replied, "No." She yelled back, "How about now?"
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  • 16
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with tennis - and I'm too old. I said: "I'm only 40 love."
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  • 17
    TH dadsaysjokes → I told my wife I had a crush on Beyoncé DS She replied with: "well, whatever floats your boat" I'm confused because that's Buoyancy 13 replies 1,538 likes ● THR @
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  • 18
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes For Christmas, I bought my wife new beads for her abacus. It's the little things that count.
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  • 19
    TH dadsaysjokes → My wife hates how I always pretend we are on walkie-talkies Wife: our relationship is over. Me: our relationship is what? Over. 15 replies 1,124 likes DS . THE (6)
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  • 20
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas... "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace." she replied. So I bought her nothing.
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  • 21
    THP DS T dadsaysjokes → My wife told me I've grown as a person. THE (6) Her actual word were "you've gotten fat", but I know what she meant. 1 reply 451 likes
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  • 22
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife left me because of my gambling addiction. But I know I can win her back.
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  • 23
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I have bought my wife a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
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  • 24
    THE I named him Carson. dadsaysjokes → My wife gave birth in our car on the way to the hospital. 18 replies 969 likes DS T ΤΗ (6)
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  • 25
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then she sat on it. Eventually she came round.
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  • 26
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife asked me, "Why don't you treat me like you did when we were first dating?" So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents' house.
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  • 27
    THE dadsaysjokes. My wife is furious at our neighbor who sunbathes naked in her backyard. Personally, I'm on the fence. 36 replies 1,996 likes . DS T ΤΗ (6)
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  • 28
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife says the salads I make tend to be a bit on the "dry" side. It's definitely something that needs addressing. ...
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  • 29
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
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  • 30
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes ... I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son's train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
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  • 31
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife asked if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
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  • 32
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
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  • 33
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes ... My wife gets really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
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  • 34
    Dad Jokes → @Dadsaysjokes My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo. Well I think she should look at the bigger picture.
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  • 35
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I was really struggling to get my wife's attention.... So, I sat down on the sofa and looked comfortable. That did the trick.
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  • 36
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife and I started arguing as to who gets to use the microwave first. Then things started to heat up.
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  • 37
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I got my wife a metal detector as a present, but she didn't like it. Strange as she always likes to dig up things from the past.
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  • 38
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife told me I was immature... So I told her to get out of my pillow fort.
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  • 39
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife has banned me from making any more breakfast puns. She says if I make any more, I'm toast. But my kids keep egging me on.
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  • 40
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the Jeep.
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  • 41
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I asked my wife why she married me. She said: "Because you're really funny." I said: "I thought it was because I'm good in bed." She said: "See! You're hilarious."
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  • 42
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis." I replied, "That's 15 love."
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  • 43
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I asked my wife when her birthday was. She said March 1st. So I walked around the room and asked again.
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  • 44
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes ... My wife asked me why I wanted to be cremated. I told her it's because it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
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  • 45
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I met my wife on Tinder. That was awkward.
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  • 46
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife said, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?" I said, "Where did that come from?"
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  • 47
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife told me, " Don't get upset if someone calls you fat." "You're much bigger than that."
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  • 48
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can't read anything.
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  • 49
    Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Whenever my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos. She just really needed a shoulder to crayon.
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marriage tweets marriage jokes relatable memes relatable dad jokes wives wife funny memes married life marriage-drama relationships Memes husband meme marriage memes family joke married healthy relationship relationship memes
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